capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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