we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
