She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
