you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I supernannyed him into submission
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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