we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize