Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
