i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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