fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
