I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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