Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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