you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
