just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
