i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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