My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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