get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
be right there i have to get my cape
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
