im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
