Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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