what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
