You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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