Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
