Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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