small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
