and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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