i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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