dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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