ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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