So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
