Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize