Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
