What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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