Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
