I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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