Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize