dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
