yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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