No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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