I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
