My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
