and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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