i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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