this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
