Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
