Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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