How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
