were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she peed on how many people?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
