I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
