awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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