i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
