I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
