Im at strip club and am horny
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
