Fuck appropriateness.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
