I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I still have a little drunk in my system
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
