Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
