you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
