just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize