My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
