no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
